And Good Heroes are tragic
by Secoluna
Summary: One-shot fic, upto S3 Last of Time Lords. "He is looking at that stupid void located under Earth. And he thinks: Bugger."


_The story starts like this; there was once a Time Lord and a human girl. This human girl was an ordinary girl with ordinary features and a very ordinary ability._

_They travelled time and space in a bright blue police box. They visited the most spectacular places (applegrass), the funniest (dogs with no noses) and the most dangerous (Dickens's time: watch out for ghosts)._

_With me, so far?_

_Then, an extraordinary thing happened._

_He lost her._  
_He lost her forever._  
_Nevertheless, he did not let go._  
_Does the story end now?_

_How could it when he will not let go (He refuse to let go)._

Year 2007 and it is planet Earth. Again.

He shuts the blue doors quickly, he opened it after she left - just to make sure she was really gone. Another goodbye, another companion. He can't keep doing this. He can't.

_Goodbye, Martha Jones_.

He sighs and fiddles aimlessly with the TARDIS' control. The TARDIS (Time and Relative Dimension in Space – imagine putting that on a nametag) is use to goodbyes. The TARDIS is use to many things and seen so many things. Different spaces, different dimension, different places, different people, different doctors.

Different Companions.

Martha was one of many and many more to come. So many companions, so little time: meshing into one face, all with the same story. The TARDIS does remember one companion - an ordinary girl with ordinary features and a very ordinary ability. Just a simple human girl.

The story starts when the TARDIS acquired a Time Lord with different names. Her walls have whispered so many ancient and forgotten titles. Time Lord. Lonely God. Bad Wolf. Doctor. Master. Oncoming Storm. Too many titles but with no meaning, too many hurt but with no end. He is so old, now.

And so tired.

The TARDIS knows. She knows. She hears. She listens.  
**[**How can he follow rules when it has no meaning? How he can follow rules when all he wants is to punch a hole in the universe? (Two worlds will collapse:** So?**). Kill them all. The universe is laughing at him. _Can't cross your own timeline_. _Can't do this, can't do that. I was never one of you, why should I follow your rules?_ Exile. Exile. Ring a ring of posies, we all fall down._ Your entire fault. We're the only ones left. All I've got._ Forget. You don't belong here. There is an unexplained void underneath Earth in the year 2007. Why is it always Earth? (Martha: Why is always about HER?). Go to her. Go to her. Destroy everything. End it. End it. Fire, ice, rage, night, storm, heart of the sun, ancient, centre of time, turn of universe, forever. Forever.**]**

The TARDIS remembers an ordinary girl with ordinary features and a very ordinary ability. A stupid (_Doctor: no, courageous_) girl by the name of Rose Tyler who looked into the heart of the TARDIS and saved the TARDIDS'S Doctor._ Doctor: And what did she see?_ The Tyler girl saw…..saw…..saw herself – tomorrow in a day. Her footstep, never leaving a mark follows the yesterdays and tomorrows. God, she burns and she loves it: ecstasy in fire and gold, ecstasy in feeling nothing and being nothing. She can end everything and the nothingness: ecstasy in annihilation. Hold on! Rose. You can let go now. I think you need a doctor. Hold on! You can let go now. Rose, you can stop now. Hold on! You can let go now. (Make up your mind, Doctor).

The TARDIS knows. She feels. The Tyler Girl.

She saw a young Rose Tyler hiding behind her mummy's track pants as she paints the world red (she saw a young Rose Tyler hiding behind a leather jacket as she paints the world gold)._ She is young_.

The TARDIS thinks this Tyler Girl is attracted to a mirror (no, a reflection). A reflection because mirrors never lie, a reflection because he shows her what she wants to see (_my hero_) or maybe, she chooses not to see it.

The Tyler Girl is going to die. The Tyler Girl is dead.

The TARDIS feels the Doctor walking around the console now – one footstep this time (always one). He is looking at that stupid void located under Earth. And he thinks: Bugger.

It is Year 2007, August 24th and the void is near the constellation Eridanus. Eridanus. According to a Greek human myth, there was once an entity called Phaeton who took the reins of Helios's chariot. Dear old Phaeton did not have the strength to wield the chariot and it veered off course into different directions (no control, nothing could stop them:_ Never say never Rose_). Zeus (_Torchwood_) stopped Phaeton and Phaeton fell into the river Eridanus (_Hold on! Rose. Hold on! Down, down, down into the pits of hell_)never to be seen again.

"What do you think old girl?"

Hope. Right there is hope. He shouldn't be doing this. The Tyler Girl is fine. She is fine. She is fine. He can't, won't, refuses to let go – he should learn that the dead stays dead. Remember what happened to Marcus Curtius (_Doctor: good bloke, a bit self-centered but knows how to party_), he paid the price when he fell into the void. To save Rome, (_Doctor: the world_) Marcus Curtius needed Rome's prized possession (_Doctor: Rose!_) to close the void. The Doctor can't have both – you're not allowed both the world and Rose. Heroes are martyrs: they can't have what they want. Heroes carry universes and suffer the burden. Do not do this.

_But. _

There's that stupid but. The Doctor was no hero, he was a destroyer of worlds. Heroes don't kill their own kind. They do not trap people into mirrors forever, they do not watch as people fall into pits of hell, they do not wish death - they do not enjoy it.

Void. He needs it. He needs to know. It will not be long - a quick peek and off he goes. He promises he will not do anything. Liar. Don't. _Yes._ Don't._ Yes._ Don't. _Yes._ Think. Think. Thiiinkkkk. It's always about the void – the emptiness, the nothingness.

The story could end here if you just let go, my Doctor. She will be the end of you. You only have two (_Doctor: she has one_) hearts. You will destroy her (_Doctor: been there done that_). We are so old, now. She has a life with her mother, father, brother and Mickey. She does not need you. This is how your story goes, alone, needing and looking for something beyond your grasp - clutching at nothing and clutching at forever. It's what drives you. This is how your story begins and ends.

He pauses. Just for a second.

He sets the co-ordinates.

Co-ordinates for the **void**. _This is not how her story ends, my TARDIS._


End file.
